I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
