yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
