I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
