I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize