I want to make a zoo with you.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
