no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
