What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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