OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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