He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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