woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
