So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
