Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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