He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
