nut hugger
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I will be naked everywhere
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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