I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
