I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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