the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
