Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
