if i can run in heels then i can drive
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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