u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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