i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
