So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize