Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
