hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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