Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Do vagina's smell?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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