All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
