GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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