I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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