I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
