I must be too annoying 4 u.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
