i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize