Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
