on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
