Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
