Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
