Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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