I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
