He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Found the puke drawer
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
