I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
