the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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