oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
