Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
