at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
