Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize