through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
