told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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