He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
