What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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