I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize