just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
