i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize