I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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