i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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