the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
