Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
