Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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