Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
