I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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