Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
