I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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