so let's talk penis.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
