if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
