Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think pants incapable of making pants work
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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