Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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